Set up a quiet atmosphere
The best thing about setting up a Montessori bedroom is that it doesn’t need to cost much! The bedroom is where we sleep. We should keep toys, mobiles, mirrors or anything that is going to stimulate out of the room. If this isn’t an option, then put these things out of the away and in their own area. Besides a bed and clothes, the only items we had in my daughter’s nursery were books and stuffies.
Later on when she stopped napping, we brought in a “quiet box” during her normal nap time. The box had quiet activities she could play with alone and it was put away after quiet time was over. Doing this helps the child associate the bedroom with rest and calm. You can alter the environment to help your child quiet their body and mind down so they can sleep.
We didn’t use blackout curtains in the room when she was a baby. We were worried that she would get her days and nights mixed up. However, we did have thin curtains to help filter out the bright direct light. However, every child is different and you can trust that you know what is best for your child. This goes for sound machines as well. We used a white noise machine to help drown out the noises we made so we didn’t startle her. There are no specific rules about curtains or sound machines in Montessori, so use your best judgement. However, always make sure cords and curtains are safely secured.
Freedom of movement
Montessori bedrooms typically have floor beds. This is so the child has the freedom to explore their environment when they are done resting. This can simply be a crib mattress on a floor! Some people use a bed frame that helps prevent them from rolling off the mattress. Just be sure it still allows them the freedom to get out of the bed. I was not aware of such a thing when my daughter was young. This idea could make many parents cringe. I certainly would have at the time. I remember the days of sitting outside her door or by her bed making sure she stayed in it. She fought sleep HARD and she didn’t like being alone.
However, I think it’s worth a try, and here’s why. You will be more successful if you start out using Montessori principles in everything you do. This sets the stage for your child to become capable of independence. There are certain stages in your child’s development where they are willful and power struggles can become a problem. However, in Montessori we are not the authoritarian making sure our child does what we say because we said so. In Montessori, we are observers who respect the child and give them the freedom to make choices. They know when they feel tired, just like we do. In time, they will learn the consequences of not listening to their bodies, just like we do. However, we CAN guide them to help them make their choices. You could, for example, say, “I notice that you are crying [or are frustrated]. Laying on your bed to take a break will help you feel better.” You could also say, “I’m going to your room to read a story. Would you like to come with me?”
Routines
Now, of course, there need to be boundaries and we can limit the number of choices they have. Most children struggle with transitions, so structure and routine are important. We can help guide them through this. If the routine is to nap after lunch, invite them to go with you to the bedroom. This will place them in an environment that is not stimulating.
After struggling with bedtime, we developed a routine of having a story before naps and bedtime. Then I’d sing nursery songs while I held her. After about 3 songs, I laid her down in bed (still awake, but drowsy). She used a pacifier, but only for sleeping (until her first teeth started coming in).
Fear of Being Alone
Crying it out? Not crying it out? There is so much advice out there. It is hard to know what to do. We opted for an approach to slowly wean her off of depending on us to be present. I told her I’d be back to check on her in 5 mins. I’d come back in 5 mins (even without a clock she always knew if I was late!). If she was still awake, I told her I’d come back in 10 mins to check on her. I’d give her a kiss and leave. I didn’t engage in any conversation. However, I made sure that I did check on her when I said I would. We’d continue to do this in longer intervals, but usually she’d be asleep after the 15 min interval.
There is a bit of a time investment upfront, but once the routine sets in, it should be easier. If you start out with a similar routine when they are babies, you will have more success. I’m not familiar with any specific Montessori approaches with regard to helping your child sleep alone. However, “The Montessori Baby,” by Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike is a great book to check out for general guidance.
Dressing
A Montessori bedroom typically has a wardrobe that is just the right size for the child to use. There are several DIY examples or “IKEA hacks” on Pinterest of how to make your own wardrobe. You can have a place for hanging clothes but you don’t have to. You can always use a shelf with baskets or a small dresser. The point is making the clothes accessible so that the child can safely reach their clothes. For young kiddos, it will be easier for them if you only keep out a few choices.
Allowing your children to pick their own outfit and dress themselves means that they will have shirts on backwards or inside out. However, seeing their mistake in the mirror will be their “control of error.” They will gradually get better at dressing.
